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1. 英文版笑話之——我是歷史老師

位歷史老師和他的妻子在吃飯,妻子問到：“工作上有什么新鮮事嗎?”丈夫回答說：“沒有，我是教歷史的。”

A history teacher and his wife were sitting at a table

the wife asked “Anything new at work”, and he replied", no, I am teaching History".

2. 英文版笑話之——除了音樂

一位熱心的年輕教師想讓她的學生多了解一點優秀的古典音樂，就安排了一天下午去聽音樂會。為了使這次活動能給大家留下更深的印象，她請大家喝檸檬汽水、吃點心、巧克力和冰淇淋。在大家回來上汽車的時候，她問小薩莉：“你今天玩得好嗎?”

“噢，好極了，小姐，” 薩莉說，“除了音樂其它都很好。”

A keen young teacher wanted to introduce her class to the glories of classical music, so she arranged an outing to an afternoon concert. To make the occasion even more memorable, she treated everyone to lemonade, cake, chocs and ices. Just as the party was getting back into their coach, she said to little Sally, "Have you enjoyed yourself today?"

"Oh, yes, miss!" said Sally, "It was lovely. All except the music, that is."

3. 英文版笑話之——吝嗇鬼請客

一個出了名的吝嗇鬼終于決定要請一次客了。他在向一個朋友解釋怎么找到他家時說：“你上到五樓，找中間那個門，然后用你的胳膊肘按門鈴。門開了之后，再用你的腳把門推開。”

“為什么要用我的肘和腳呢？”

“你的雙手得拿禮物啊。天哪，你總不會空著手來吧？”吝嗇鬼回答

The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."

"Why use my elbow and foot?"

"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?"